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| If only! =O |
I turned 18. Whoop dee doo.
Do I feel any different? Of course not. It was raining on the day of my birthday.
I really wish I can tell you that my birthday was life-changing, and I felt some magical wings sprout on my back, symbolizing my metamorphosis into adulthood.
Nope. I'm still the self-depreciating idiot I've always claimed myself to be,
and my bumpy start into tertiary education has not contributed to this whatsoever.
I think I've forgotten how to blog. My fingers are somehow pausing awkwardly, hovering over the keyboard as soon as I'm done typing each word, as if I've lost the ability to string a sentence together.
Oh wait. When did I ever have the ability to string a sentence together?
In my journey through university, I've noticed several things about myself.
I claim to be very hardworking and studious, (okay that's a lie, I know I'm not), but I guess it just never dawned on me as to how truly lazy I can get.
The art of procrastination should be a course in the Bachelor of Arts program.
No kidding.
I can procrastinate for hours at a time, all the while making silly excuses such as
"Oh it's awful to start studying at half past, it has to start at the beginning of the next hour...to symbolize...a new fresh start."
See? Us BA students are so pathetic, we can somehow rationalize you into thinking even the impossible.
Or maybe I'm just the one.
yyyyyyeah, its more likely that I'm just the one, isn't it? =/ Sigh. Just when I thought the world had more losers like myself out there in existence!
Did you know, my fellow imaginary bloggers excluding -my mom- because she is very real and she does read my blog (I would like to think she does anyway)...
...that the world IS made out of blue cheese, and that monsters will come and attack you in the middle of the night.
How come the latter of that sentence is valid, yet true at the same time?
On a very tragic note: One never know about those monsters.
Bitches be popping up everywhere you go.
But going back to my previous point of 'starting at the beginning of the next hour thing'...
What does that even mean?
Why does the time of the day dictate when I can, and cannot study?
Apparently it does. I convince myself to think that 2:30AM is not as efficient as 3AM.
I've also conditioned myself into thinking that I should always start my study at 11:11PM. For good luck.
Wishful thinking is for fools; and of course I am one.
It's when the sluggish afternoon rolls on by, the words 'nap' and 'snooze' pop into your head like Rebecca Black's musical masterpiece, "Friday", that you then succumb to your lowly human needs and close your eyes for a half hour, or five.
What we do with those words, I've noticed, (because I obsess over all the unnecessary things in life), is that when you add the word 'little' to your certain guilty pleasure, it makes it somehow -less- awful.
For example.
"I had a nap this afternoon till 5"
"I had a little nap this afternoon till 5"
The word 'little' somehow indicates a somehow gallant self-restraint on your part.
You could have had exceeded the 'little' factor and gone for the horrible solid 'nap' itself,
but we use language everyday to our advantage.
Not only to communicate to others, but to also deceive our poor little brains into thinking that we're actually noble for taking lazy sleeps in the afternoon to avoid being productive.
I promise you this applies to almost -anything-
Try...Cake.
"I had a slice of cake because I craved for some."
"I had a little slice of cake because I craved for some."
See? It truly does apply.
If all else fails with my law test this Tuesday, I will be confident to say that I can publish my findings of the word 'little' and its big significance in boosting our self esteem everyday. =]
When you wake up in a pool of your own dribble, you are then filled with self-disgust as you realize the hours in which you were indulging in sleep could have easily been used for blogging, or maybe doing some study.
Although let's face it.
In terms of urgent, need-to-accomplish now sort of things; my blog has top priority.
To be very honest, I've missed blogging like anything.
Not a day has gone by where I didn't wonder at how uni life has robbed me of my time to self-indulge in my stupid and trivial complaints about important social issues like...
how my toothpaste isn't as minty as I hoped it would be. Stuff like that.
It's become a part of me, and I can't imagine doing anything else that would make me as self-fulfilled.
Holy shit I'm a selfish cow. XD
I guess blogging for a year in Japan has really cultivated the habit.
Unfortunately it takes time, and effort, so forgive me for not posting as regularly as I used to.
When night rolls on by, Facebook is spread out all over your screen, and thus begins the very delicate and cultivated skill of stalking your friends' photos, statuses, and dare I say it, relationship status, all to your own sickening delight that you know everything there is to know.
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| harry looks really intimidating and stalkerish in this photo. Perfect. =] |
Obviously I would argue that the cloak is indeed a useful tool to our society if it ever were to come to our existence.
My mom then pointed out that it would definitely work to a stalker's advantage, and proved too dangerous for common everyday use.
I then pointed out that Facebook is our Invisibility Cloak.
We stalk, we stare, and we are completely invisible to the person that we are currently researching on.
I also pointed out that my mom herself was quite the active stalker of my own Facebook account during the months I had stayed in Japan.
She'd used to question me about certain status updates and photos. Whoops for all the innuendo unintentionally used. ^-^
My conscience keeps reminding me that I'm a stalker.
Instead of this negative word 'stalk', let's use 'invest'.
So we invest in all these friends of ours without their knowing, right? So how is that different?
Perhaps JK Rowling was using this as a metaphor for our society today.
Probably not.
I know all you most likely gathered out of the last 50 or so words were "why are they discussing Harry Potter at the dinner table?"
And to that; I am rendered speechless.
Also, I think I am going to stop writing about my mom. Is that a bit creepy? Sorry.
So apparently, I'm legal now.
I didn't have a party, but I'm very obliged to have one this weekend.
Although the anti-social side of me is gradually overpowering the extrovert in me, and the urge to feel sorry for myself and indulge in tubs of strawberry ice cream, all the while watching terrible documentaries about capitalism are somehow at an urgent need to be fulfilled... I guess I should throw a party and celebrate my ability to get shit face drunk and regret all decisions made the next day.
So. I think this is called for.
Steps on how to being the fail-est 18-year old there ever lived: Volume One
Step One: Study on your birthday
Not only should you study, write practice essays. Read about Rugby related political issues.
In fact, do that English assignment while you're at it.
Female Chauvinistic pigs in our society today, and translate into screenplay. What's not to love really?
Step Two: Do not have any alcohol.
Yes, you're legal. But don't celebrate this by drinking any alcohol whatsoever.
Green tea would suffice. Heck, have cereal.
Step Three: Rely heavily on the amount of birthday wishes you received on Facebook as a source of how many friends you have in real life.
What you can do on your birthday, is invest in these friendships. Go ahead and scroll down your page, and 'like' the comments that seem to have extra thought put into it.
"Happy birthday" should not suffice in this case. "Happy birthday, and HAVE AN AWESOME DAY!"
See, now that's thought. Go 'like' that comment. That's true friendship.
Especially if they have kisses and hugs to follow that comment.
Step Four: Refer back to Step Three
Facebook invest in your friends for the remaining of the night, and feel sorry for yourself.
It's good to discipline yourself and "study" on your birthday.
Not just any birthday, particularly your 18th birthday. ^0^
On a completely unselfish note, my parents did cook a hell of a dinner for me,
and I did get many presents from my friends at uni and family.
My presents from Japan were also flooding in from host families and friends.
It's lovely to know that despite all that's happened, they still have a heart big enough to remember my birthday.
So, thank you all for making my birthday a very interesting and memorable one!
Also.
Besides fucking up an online multi-choice test that consequently forced me to think about dropping out of uni and selling fruit on the sidewalk, I got an A for my English narrative. =]
I think I will later post it as a reminder that if all else fails, at least I have that one assignment that scored an A. Probably my only A to claim this semester though. :( how awful.
The only reason I was cut back on an A+ was because of my use of punctuation.
Yes- to that particular person that pointed out my over-use of semi colons, you have the permission to say, "I TOLD YOU SO BITCH" in the comment section below.
Or. Alternatively, you could shout it at your screen and laugh sadistically
The comments on this blog would sit at a till of 0 and counting for eternity.
=] whichever you choose, I am aware that I abuse semi-colons. I can't help it, okay.
They are so cute. It's like a full stop and a comma can't quite make up its mind on what it wants to be, and then they had a baby and out popped a semi colon. ^-^ eeeeee. Creativity.
http://aprilxiaoyunnwong.blogspot.com/2011/04/my-first.html (for those of you interested in reading it!)
So I will cut my blog post rather short this evening.
Will watch the Mentalist.
Dead people. Wooo.
All my love always,
April
beast blogger.
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