Sunday, April 3, 2011

my first A!

note: the author would appreciate it if you restrain yourselves from wondering why she takes pride in such a trivial looking piece of shit.
She is only proud of this because she scored an A for her first ever assignment! :)


assignment: a narrative piece ranging from 500-600 words describing an event that changed you. Worth 10% of your grade. 


I took things for granted. Not until I started heaving all my unfortunately oversized bags onto the conveyor belt, all the while exchanging Japanese greetings with the lady behind the counter, did I realize the gravity of what I was about to do. I can still remember staring at my boarding ticket the way I used to stare at math problems back in high school. I glare stubbornly at the information printed on the ticket. I’m somehow unconvinced and in denial that Auckland is my final destination. Time has cheated me for the past 10 months. 
I haven’t had enough time to enjoy this country, rife in tradition and culture. 

Then again; it’s never enough.

The airport is my hell on earth. The departure gate in particular, is a breeding ground for hopeless romantics whom maintain their relationships by juggling time zones. Their ultimate goal consists of bonding with flight agents over the cheapest flights available every holiday season. I’m not sure if it’s more brave or cowardly.
Going abroad for a year, you face many challenges. Sure, you may struggle with the language, the culture, and even the food. Fermented beans that smell like old socks, anyone? However I remain certain; the largest hurdle you face is learning how to say goodbye. 

Watching people you love leave and in turn, leaving the ones you love behind are equally torturous. I guess it was in my masochistic nature to send my loved ones off at the departure gate each time they would leave for home. I enjoyed, if not craved the sensation of having my heart being ripped from my chest. It’s also quite the adrenalin rush to count down the very seconds to which you’ll never be in this person’s presence again. It’s beyond euphoric.

So now I’m the one standing here outside the Narita Airport Departure Gate, unwilling and torn. I’m ripping my host family’s hearts out by leaving; but do I have any other options? This day; doomsday, has been approaching for months to come. I blank out for a second as I witness the unrealistic scene before my eyes. They are the ones that are crying, and I’m in turn praying helplessly that I can stay for just another day; heck, an hour would suffice. I’ve lost all faith in God, but I find myself bargaining my fate in exchange for believing once again.

The clock is ticking, and the dark future I’ve painted for myself is looming ahead of me. A death sentence looks friendlier than the very thought of stepping foot into Auckland. Japan has built me into the person I had envisioned myself to be prior to my coming here. Why leave, really? What can New Zealand offer me?  This is my home, I plead with God, a knot rising painfully in my throat, let me stay.  

As I embrace my host mom for the very last time, I realize that despite everything, despite the fear of leaving, I can only be grateful for this experience. Not because I’ve learned a whole new language and have made memories that’ll last a lifetime, but because I’ve learnt the meaning of life. 

The most precious things on earth aren’t things that are far away; they are right in front of you. Without treasuring the time you have with the people you love, the meaning of life is lost. This is what I have learned. This is what I will remember, I thought as the tears roll down my face furiously to the roaring sound of take-off. This is what I will be forever grateful for.  




 Hope you enjoyed it ;) 
All my love always,

April

1 comment:

  1. This is really really good writing. I really saw inside your soul. <3

    ReplyDelete