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| The theme for our 文化祭。 |
It means that 'time flies like an arrow', and I cannot agree more.
Except the fact that time probably flies faster than you can even string your bow and hold the arrow in place anyway.
It's so fast that you cant grasp it at all- and when you do; you are reluctant to hold on because when time flies, you are having fun.
The minute it starts to crawl by- that's when you should be worried.
Now that the Culture Festival is completely over and done with- we have holidays.
Three days of rest before school starts again.
Days of waking up not feeling refreshed, but days of waking up to feeling even more exhausted and relentless.
Maybe it's because six hours of sleep a day isn't sufficient for anyone.
Maybe- or perhaps I just need to suck it up and be stronger. (yet again.)
Having holidays means staying over at Maki's house- lately it's just been that way.
I'm not one to complain at all though. Good food, comfy pillows and a bed, and WIFI? :)
Invite me over anytime!
Lately I've also been stressing not for the Level 2 Test that I am supposedly expected to take early December, but I've been worried about university.
I think I would have to do at least one year in New Zealand as the bare minimum, and then hopefully Auckland Uni can be my foundation on which I exchange to other universities around the world.
This was not my ideal plan, and isn't my ideal plan.
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| Supposedly meant to bring wealth if placed inside one's home. |
Unfortunately money does not fall from the sky, and no matter how many 'money plants' we buy, money can only come from one source only- and that is hard earned work.
Do I know what I want to be when I am older?
The answer still remains a 'no', and although I am sure I want to write in the future, so do billions of other kids I've noticed.
Sure; I should do what I like, and I'll be good at it.
There is a proverb in Japanese, 好きこそな物上手になれ。
It means that you will be good at everything you love.
There is a difference between being good at something, and being great at it.
I might be good in stringing a few words together to make a sentence or two.
I am definitely not great at doing so though. =]
I wish there was a way for me to get money now.
I can save up, and my parents wouldn't have to be so burdened because of the ridiculously high prices of getting a good education in our world today.
Money that would help support me overseas, and I would then stop being a burden to anyone.
I want to be accountable to myself. Financially, that is.
I already am in most other things but I think financially- breaking away from the help of parents would not only do them good, but it would also help me learn the value of money.
Going on exchange is one of the hardest things I've had to, and am doing so far.
You get on a plane to a country you hardly know anything about.
The worst part is the fact you don't know anyone.
The comfort of having your friends and family by your side is stripped away from you; forcing you to grow up, be independent, and face life head on.
You get lonely.
Often, and if not everyday you will wonder if people back home are thinking of you just the same way you think of them.
Then there are those days you feel like you don't even have a home.
Because you've been in this country so long; people change.
People grow apart and change differently, as opposed toging together.
This scares me so much because when this happens; you inevitably drift further away from each other because of the lack of communciation and just the lack of time spent with one another.
Time is the one thing that brings people closer, and can also rip them apart.
And what was a friendship, now is only written in history.
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| the exchange kids with me from April- June |
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| the exchange kids that came at the start of September. |
The friends you make and then leave behind? It's a vicious cycle on exchanges.
You build all these memories, and then when you say goodbye to them, the future that you will have doesn't include them in.
Therefore- is going on exchange worth it?
Is it worth all the pain of saying goodbye in exchange for a good education, a good exposure to the world, and a good experience outside of what you are already familiar with?
Loss is one of the most if not the worst thing we experience here on earth.
The most painful part is knowing that you might never get to see them again.
Their being in front of you, their person, just as they are.
Going on exchange teaches you to value human life.
Treasuring every single minute, and making every minute count.
It's significance lasts forever, and although it may not be part of the present, it's in your little memory bank box that you find mysteriously opens itself and unravel its contents to you when you least expect it.
Sometimes passengers in the train give me odd looks because I would be smiling to myself.
Thinking about the times I've had with the friends that are no longer by my side, and thinking about you especially- it truly makes my day so much better.
I can't believe I'm only here for another four months.
September has flown by exceptionally fast for some reason.
Although it hasn't been as happy as I hoped it would be, this month has been fulfilling.
I've learnt so much more about myself, and I've also gotten better at Japanese.
My listening comprehension has improved, and so has my speaking.
To get where I want to be, I would have to improve my reading comprehension of course.
But with practice- I'll get there.
I just hope time doesn't cheat me yet again, and I find myself going back to New Zealand with only a mediocre level of Japanese.
The future awaits- and I am so scared.
I haven't had anything sorted out mentally in my mind.
Have I made a list of things I want to accomplish in university next year?
No.
Last year for high school, with both NCEA Level 1 and 2, I made lists.
Little goals that I'd have to try and accomplish so that I could get both levels ticked off with big fat excellences.
That would ultimately contribute to the coming of this exchange and towards my application into university.
I should be making lists for my first year of uni so that I would be guaranteed easier access into not only going on exchanges but getting scholarships for them too.
I'm definitely doing a BA, but in what exactly? =/
Law conjoint with something else would be ideal I think.
But do I really want to do Law? It's not something I think I'm passionate about.
There's art too.
Designing and painting has always been one of my passions in life and pursuing it would be...dream-like.
Unrealistic, because getting in that field is not only difficult but near impossibility considering our current financial meltdown.
Sticking with what is practical is what I'm going to have to do for now.
So welcome back inner conflict and confusion.
You two are truly my best friends for the remaining September to come.
While I miss all of you like crazy, I still am having fun here in Tokyo getting to know new people and growing closer to old ones.
So hopefully time goes by relatively fast from now on, because I think my life back in New Zealand cannot wait to get started.
A whole year of uni in New Zealand will hopefully make me stronger to go anywhere else in the world.
For the future, and for myself too.
Love
April
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