Can I Really Speak Japanese?

Ginza at night

I have been really slack lately with the blogging.

Not because I don’t want to blog- of course I want to blog; hence the very existence of this blog page.

My pathetic excuse is of course school.

I  am exhausted out of my mind with school- and tonight I told myself I would put down the N2 JLPT books, and just watch re-runs of Big Bang Theory or Scrubs, and blog while I’m at it.

I have so many things to say, but they are somehow just incapable of coming together to form a sentence.

My grammar is extremely mixed up because I’ve been studying Japanese grammar for the past month and a bit now.

Instead of just talking English normally, I’ve been getting into the really bad habit of translating Japanese into English when I’m talking to my exchange friends.

One example being:

I find myself putting my verbs at the end of sentences.

It’s weird.

“Do you want to eat lunch now?”

Instead I would say, “Do you want lunch to eat now?”

There are obviously a lot more cringe-worthy ones;

but some of them are just to embarrassing to publish online.

They will forever remain in my April’s-Fail-Moments-To-Date box up in my head.

:P

I’ve been speaking more Japanese than I usually do.

In comparison to the first half of my exchange; I speak Japanese more than I do English- and I have been starting to think in full Japanese.

Maybe it’s a bit late- to start thinking in Japanese.

But I think I was already thinking in Japanese back when I first came here- it just took me a while to realize it.

tackling grammar. Failing, but its the effort that counts. ;p

Learning a new language is tough.

When young, we learn languages with more ease.

I don't know why, but I think it's because our minds are not so crammed with other unnecessary junk.

When you learn a language at an age above 10, you are highly aware of the many limitations you face because of the language barrier.

First; you can’t express yourself as easily as you would in your mother tongue.

Second; you will always feel left out when your friends are talking and laughing in this foreign language to which you have only started to get accustomed to.

Third; although you think you’ve gotten the just of it, there’s always that one situation where you realize that you still have a heck of a lot of learning to do.

And last but not least; the language takes time to fit inside your mouth a little bit.

I heard someone say a long time ago- I’m not sure where, or when,

But he said that when all human beings are born; our genetics would determine how our features would turn out.

This also includes our vocal chords, our throats, our mouths, and even our tongue.

In fact, studies have apparently shown that an Asian mouth structure would differ slightly to that of a European mouth structure.

This is because the Asian languages in comparison to the European languages all contain different tones.

You can say the same word, spelled the exact same way; a hundred different ways just because of the various intonations that languages all contain.

Thus going back to my reason earlier.

It takes time for a language to sit in your mouth correctly.

Japanese Grammar is a Bitch. With a capital letter B.

If one does not speak Japanese or any other foreign language for that matter;

Learning it would be a struggle because the sounds, grammar structure, and words are all different.

You are literally starting at point zero.

Asian languages often have a different writing system to that of the Alphabet; so learning this would also be a bitch, although fun and delightful as it might seem.

I have never had the opportunity to learn a European language- although the idea is very tempting; so I am unfamiliar with how learning a European language would be like.

I imagine it hard as well- because the sounds are different to that of English and Chinese.

Not to mention Japanese.

=]

Sometimes when people ask how many languages I speak, I am so tempted to say, “none”, because I feel like I haven’t acquired full fluency in any of the languages that I am able to converse in now.

I can communicate in English, Chinese, and Japanese fine. However; I don’t consider myself to have complete fluency of all these three languages because I know I am making mistakes as I am typing this blog right now.

English is of course the strongest of the three at the moment.

But do I consider Japanese a language that I can…speak?

The way I speak English?

Japanese definitely sits in my mouth better than it did back in April.

I find myself speaking and sometimes thinking, “holy crap did that just come out of my mouth?”

Because it feels so right, and so natural to speak a language other than what I consider to be my own, that it shocks me.

Ever since I’ve gone back to school after summer vacation I’ve noticed changes in the way I can speak Japanese.

It comes naturally to me now, and any lack of motivation I may have felt about learning Japanese during the start of my exchange has completely been eradicated and replaced with this new desire to become even more fluent.

I have only 3 more months left in Japan.
Three.

Where did the time go? It’s crazy.

One minute I was packing for Japan, throwing things into a large suitcase and hoping that the clothes I bring would still fit by the time I leave the land of sushi and tempura and takoyaki.

The next minute I’m packing again to move to my new host family.

The next I am packing for trips around Japan; Osaka, Izu, and not to mention New Years in Hiroshima.

I feel extremely blessed to have come this far in my exchange.

Although I know I have come a long way with my Japanese fluency- I know I still have a long way to go.

Three months may be short- but I’m hoping with all the studying I’ve been cramming into my head for the purpose of passing the Level 2 Japanese Proficiency Test, I would improve even more.

If I can stay another year here in Japan- I think I would be able to say with confidence that, “yes, I speak Japanese.”

Speaking a language fluently is the ability to express yourself without any limitations.

To me- that is, knowing a vast amount of vocabulary to indicate how one feels at a certain time.

To also express your opinion in any topic that may arise in the conversation.

This means for the conversation to flow easily and comfortably without the restriction of not knowing certain specialized words that are necessary for any conversation not to come to a halt as you discreetly try and key words into your electronic dictionary.

Can I do this with English?

I think so.

I may not know all the words in the English vocabulary but expressing myself in English is always easier than doing so in Chinese or Japanese.

I felt the need to take a photo of my folder...

...and of the books I take to school every single day. XD

However- I’ve found that I can easily express my thoughts in Japanese more than I could ever have done two, or three months ago.

I can also easily translate any sentence in English into Japanese without hesitating at a word which I may not know in Japanese.

The times of which I have to pause and say, “shit, what is this in Japanese”, have gotten much lesser lately.

The grammar structures needed for Level 2 also enable me to understand what people are rambling about on the news too.

Half of the challenge of understanding Japanese isn’t really the vocabulary as it is the grammar, I think.

The Japanese grammar is nothing less than a bitch, and although its easier to express oneself with the knowledge of the grammar- remembering all of it, and knowing what verb form to use in each and every single grammar point (because they actually change), is a challenge.

I don’t think I’ll ever acquire complete fluency in Japanese unless I live here for another two, or three years.

I don’t think it’s possible to acquire complete fluency in any language in just a year- you would need at least three years to master a language.

It takes time to know a language the way you know your own mother tongue.

When I first came here; I had rather simplistic goals.

To be able to have simple conversations in Japanese, read a simple book in Japanese without fumbling around with my electronic dictionary, and remember at least 1500 Kanji characters.

My goals have altered because I can do all those things at ease since the start of August, (I think?), 

and I’ve set my expectations higher.

If I don’t meet them; well disappointment and I go a long way back, so we would be fine just the two of us once again.

Host Sister, Host Mom, and Silly Exchange Student.

holding Japanese 'wine'

I want to be able to speak like a native.

I went on a trip to Izu with my host family and their friends.

At first, conversing with everyone wasn’t a problem at all.

However, adults are adults and when good conversation arose- I couldn’t understand half of what they were saying.

There were words in there that obviously do not appear in a classroom where the major concern is if some random Korean artist’ hair is better looking black or brown.

It was humbling to know that I still have a long way to go.

It forces me not to slack as much- although I don’t think I slack with anything but keeping a good hold on what I eat. :P

everyone at the lodge in Izu

I want to be able to converse with anyone of any age, gender, and social status.

Speak about anything, be it politics, the weather, or the future.

Space, religion- anything.

I do not just want to be that student that has “good, jyouzu Japanese”, but a student that a native Japanese can say, “It’s hard not to treat you like one of us because you have such a high level of Japanese.”

The urge to speak better has been growing day by day- and I am quite upset it’s only happened the minute I went back to school after summer vacation.

I spoke fine before- but I realized the minute I actually focused completely in just speaking Japanese, and trying to understand this language as if it were my own?

Pouring all my attention into some stupid grammar drill book, and deciphering patterns in certain sentences and words?

I realized something that I think I may have forgotten.

I love the idea of being able to speak a language other than my own; and to be understood and accepted by a totally different group of people just because you communicate in their language.

I think it's beautiful.

I love learning this language(as challenging as it may be),

and it is the reason why I came in the first place.

All my love always,

April