i miss japan

Halfway through studying about information systems and how they benefit businesses globally, (yeah that's right, I'm doing commerce this semester), I couldn't help but compare my life now to my life in Japan.
And all I could think to myself was how insignificant my life is now, in comparison to my life there.
I don't feel like I'm doing anything...productive with myself.

There was this one time at primary school during summer camp when they served nachos complete with ice cream as dessert for dinner.
After a while, everyone started staring at me with their mouths wide open, leaving their yummy nachos untouched.
Don't blame them really- my face was streaming with tears and I looked like a mess.
Several phone calls later, my mom came and picked me up, and I can confidently say I tackled summer camp for only two days before falling victim to home sickness.
And that, boys and girls, is how I just broadcasted one of the most embarrassing moments in my childhood on the internet.

Prior adjustment into my Japanese lifestyle, I too, felt extremely homesick.
Mind you- It wasn't to the extent of crying stupidly into my dinner, nor to the extent of wanting to call my parents and begging them to take me home.
I regret to inform that I'm now reverting back to what I like to diagnose as "nachos fever" stage.
I want to buy the next flight to Japan available, move into my host parents' house, enroll into uni there, get a job, and just begin the life I've always wanted on my own.
The best part is, I know they wouldn't say no.
...so what's stopping me?

To be honest, I much rather be learning foreign languages instead of law, economics, information systems, or history.
Back then I thought otherwise of course, because I didn't know any better.
I feel that the journey to being proficient in a language other than your own feels more worthwhile than learning about arranging legal rules, and the difference between public and private law.
Not to mention reading about the endless statutes that make up our consitution.

I'm trying my best not to compare and contrast, but how can I not?
Perhaps I feel more significant whenever I'm abroad.
I wonder what it is.
Maybe its because I remember my roots, and I remember what I used to have.
Trying to justify how I feel with an exact reason seems too difficult at present.
I've probably lost it.

Going back to Malaysia, I remember what it was like to feel I'm part of something.
Initially being accepted in Japan was difficult, because of the language barrier.
But as I gradually improved and committed myself to learning the language, I surrounded myself with a close circle of friends both native and foreign.
When I'm here I seem to lose the confidence I had there.
There's just something different about being there, and being here. 
Coming back from holiday was a great escape for that brief period in time, but I truly miss being in that environment.
Only three days has passed since I've been back, and already the memories I've made are fading into the back of my mind.
Time passes by excruciatingly slow here.
Winter, I hate you.

There are things I took for granted while in my trip over in Japan- and I do not want to admit that I regret doing so.
No point in crying over spilled milk, right?
Tears will definitely be shed for one very important reason though.
I just miss the place.

Never thought I'd say it- but at this point in time, right here, right now
I don't think I'm home quite yet.
Underestimating the genuine attachment that increasingly grew as time passed during my stay there, I never expected it to linger for this long either.
Looking back now, Japan seems unreal.
Did I really go there? Did I really make so many long-lasting friendships?
Did I...really?

I've only just started my second semester at uni, and already I'm waiting till the end of it.
As I plow through giant course books all void of any color, text printed out in size font negative a gajillion, awaiting my host sister's arrival from Japan to Auckland,  I'll try and come up with a way I can sneak into her suitcase when she leaves for home.
Or keep her hostage here.
Preferably the former though...
I might possibly be in violation of the law with the latter idea.