a taste of uni life

I'll be coming here to study every single day for the rest of my pathetic university life.

Orientation started two days ago, but today was the first day I actually attended as planned, instead of getting distracted with friends and Auckland city itself.
I have one word to describe my experience today, and the chosen adjective would be fast.

campus map of Auckland Uni

The University of Auckland campus is spread out on what would seem to be ...less than half of the size of Auckland city itself.
I know that when I have officially started university next week, and explored the city in much more depth, I will cringe at that awful estimation I just made.
Auckland city is probably bigger, so maybe an 1/8th?
I dont know.

It's exhausting getting from different parts of the university to another.
The campus itself is very beautiful though; I absolutely adore how it intertwines with the city's layout and how accessible everything is.
The campus is rather hilly, but I'm extremely thankful for this.
This would mean less guilt when I'm about to walk over to Starbucks for my deathly daily dose of over-sweetened coffee.

Following my year spent in a country that puts the definition of convenience to shame every day with it's trains and buses, Japan has set my expectations in public transportation ridiculously high.
Japan has also taught me never to be late out of the house; I can safely say it only takes me 20 minutes to get ready, all the while social networking, changing outfits for the third/fourth time, and putting on my make-up.

Multi-tasking bitches. It's a skill.

Clock Tower in Auckland Uni

It's only customary of me to make the wrong decisions all the time, and of course, first day of orientation at university and I've managed to screw things up yet again.

I hope you will all learn from my experience.
Because trust me.

Wisdom is not learning from your own mistakes but learning from the mistakes of others. 

Lesson 1) Do not bring too many books into university.

Sure, you may think at a high-school appropriate level like I do, and have somehow manipulated your stupid brain into thinking that by physically holding a book in your hand and walking around would directly result in instant knowledge gain.
I held a 1000page textbook(s), and other miscellaneous course books all around campus today, and had so much difficulty carrying these books that I eventually had to rely on the chivalry of my brother and another male friend for a good hour or two.

The information stored within these books would eventually be absorbed into you by osmosis.
I don't deny that at all.
I am drawing this conclusion because I know that  it is more likely than the chances that I'll find a boyfriend this year.
However, by saying that... I currently have no knowledge of anything regarding the history or philosophy paper I'm doing.
So perhaps, bring only the books you need for the day, and not all the books that you will be using for the entire semester.

Lesson 2) Do not join too many clubs.

Joining clubs may be fun. No; it will definitely be fun. It's also a good way to get to know people outside your faculty, and judging from the courses I'm taking, get to actually have some male friends in my uni social group.
However, joining clubs in uni requires time. Time, and money.
I neglected to think that perhaps I wouldn't have the time, or the money, and went ahead to sign up for at least five clubs.

Upon entering the quad, I was convinced to join ...
the Taiwanese Asian club or, TANSA (despite the fact that I'm not from Taiwan) 
the Dessert Club (even though I plan to join the gym at uni to lose all the Japan weight),
the Amnesty International Human Rights Group (because I'm doing law, and if you don't care about human rights, then why be a lawyer, really),  
the Kiwi Asian Club or, KAC (because it is my internal desire to  fulfill all the stereotypes about how Asians can only hang out with their kind.)
and last but not least, AUSA Auckland University Students...wait, I don't know what is stands for. =/

I had spent over $30 NZD in joining clubs.
I know that I probably wouldn't be able to commit to half of these, because of my crazy schedule and workload.
So thankfully the clubs I'm joining seem to be very considerate and understanding, and won't bite my head off if I miss a meeting or two, or all. ;)
But seriously though; walk around the quad, and slowly consider what you want to join, and pick one or two.
Not five. Because crappy decisions cost money nowadays.

Plus I'm not even 18 yet, so unfortunately, I won't be allowed to go to the night events of these clubs. >.< WHY are fake ID's so hard to get a hold of?!

Lesson 3) Eat something. 

When you hit a sugar low at uni, especially after all that lugging around of books, and rushing to get to  your course orientation on time, you feel absolutely drained to the core.
This would also prevent you from digesting any valuable information your lecturer has to give, because all you can see are dancing donuts and giant Kit Kat bars doing a strip tease on the desk in front of you.

Lesson 4) Get your bloody stickers.

It's important to listen to your friend(s)' advice, and get your university stickers on your ID card as soon as possible.
How soon? Soon enough so that the stall doesn't close by the time you arrive.

I dream of having all my lectures in this building...

Do not procrastinate and sit on a couch in a large air conditioned business building dreaming about how your life would suck as a Arts student but flourish if only you liked money more.
Get your bloody stickers.
It's important for bus rides and discounts.
It's important in general.

Obviously I make more mistakes than the four major muck-ups I've listed above.
But all in all, today has been really productive and fun.
I can see how the courses I'm taking all just..link, with one another. I'm growing impatient to start studying and getting back into a routine where I can manage my own time, and learn.

I'm extremely nervous to start university officially; but it's a good kind of nervous.
Not the kind where you stand there and wish the ground would eat you up whole, but the kind of nervous where you'd pressure yourself to do well enough, if not the best you can do.

I've realized that university truly launches you into adult hood.
I'm not ready for adulthood quite yet, but I have no choice but to really step it up, and stop being the whiny idiot I am for the sake of my future.

There are many obligations to fulfill at university, one being that we have now two new email accounts to check daily.
We also have to keep in daily contact with our tutors and lecturers via email, and frequently suck up to them for that security that the 10% of our GPA would be intact.

CECIL is the university email database that I've only decided to start checking today.
I have a total of 17 announcements, and 140 Resources that have accumulated in the last two weeks of enrolment.
Brilliant.
I've also managed to accidentally delete all my announcements from my lecturers.
As you can blatantly see, I'm off to a great start.

Another thing I've noticed at uni are just the vast amount of stereotypes concerning the faculty in which you are studying at.
Maybe it's just not at Auckland Uni, but at uni's all around the world.

Arts students will always struggle with employment, and will always be the laughing stock of the other faculties. (I being a live-in victim of the discrimination, having a brother that is a BioMed graduate, and doing a second degree in Finance/Accounting.)
Arts students also tend to be rather female dominated.
Yay for no activity whatsoever in the love life department! :D

"and following Hitler's rise into power.." Oh fuck this; I'm going to be a stripper.

 Law/Sci students lack a social life. I say this in confidence because I am doing a conjoint law degree with Arts, and by the looks of that huge big fat blue book full of nothing but incomprehensible crap, I am highly aware of the number of times I would have to say 'soz, can't make it, needa read my law book tonight'.

Engineering Dept have a huge male population. This would also entail that the few brave females that embark in this career direction tend to also go from geek to chic, resulting in their not only increase in workload over the years, but also an increase in love-life activity.  
Thumbs up for the few smart math/physics hotties.

Language students would always flock together and build the strongest of friendships.
(I'm rather envious of this, because I really wanted to continue with my Japanese studies at Auckland despite the faculty's strong advice against it.)

Being a first year student is scary, exciting, nerve-wrecking, and fun all at the same time.
I'm so happy that it's nothing like high school.
(although it may be awkward to bump into the few individuals you never wanted to see again upon graduation two years ago)
I hope my uni life would just be as fruitful as my time in Japan.
I definitely want to go on exchange again; question is how soon, and when?

I'm extremely aware that this blog lacks color.

My sincerest of apologies; I am exhausted, and all I really want to do now is skype with a certain somebody that lives 13 hours away from me.

Oh. I've also gathered a main point from all my lecturers today.
And that is.

Don't you dare miss a fucking tutorial. 

All my love always,

April

wouldn't it be nice...?

Wouldn't it be nice, if...

We tend to compare our oh-so-average lives to people that seem to be blessed with so much more.

I for one, am a huge victim of believing that the grass will always be greener somewhere other than where I am today.
But as my dear mom points out blatantly, 'it only looks good because people mow their lawns April,' explaining that with hard work and sweat, you will end up with a green, green lawn that suckers like me will go 'wowwww....' at.

 The Beach Boys have illustrated this natural desire in humans to always want more with their hit single back in the 70's, singing about how being older would then result in happiness.
Cadbury decided to turn this well known pop song into a frighteningly cute song about how the world should be made of chocolate.
Reality is of course, the number one bitch in the neighborhood and we all realize that it's always going to be nicer 'if', because we will never get there.

The abstract idea of something bigger and better than what you currently have will always entice and distract the human population.
This is of course one of the many reasons if not the main cause of a mid-life crisis.
In which one will realize that they either...
A: have not achieved all one wants to achieve prior to getting knocked up with four kids.
B:having a really shitty job with an even shittier income to match.
C: feels, and is completely alone.

Perhaps I'm in no right to define what a mid-life crisis actually is.
One, being I'm not at the age to actually experience a crisis such as one that would have to take place in the middle of my life.
Two, being that I'm very much the drama queen, and having one to ten crisis' a day is but the norm for yours truly.

Orientation for university begins tomorrow, and I have yet to confirm all the courses I need to take to scrape through my first year.
I find myself being unable to decide, and I wish the staff at Auckland University the best of luck in taking such a scatterbrained butt head as myself under their wing.
I had to go in for a second interview in the Arts Student Centre today regarding my desire to major/minor in Japanese, and after an hour and a half of conversing solely in the language, the head of Asian Studies has recommended me to try other subjects.

Their reasoning being that they simply do not have the course work for me to study from, because even at Stage 3/4, I would find the lessons being really tedious and boring.
Sitting for the Stage 3 test was indeed, rather monotonous and dare I say it, pointless, because it mimicked the course work in which I did on my own prior to studying for my going to Japan.
Being in Japan for a year, and coming back here, I've realized that I can actually speak Japanese.
I remember complaining on my blog, and to people abroad about how frustrated I was in learning just proficiency in a language; and the thought of majoring in Japanese at the level of a 4th grader (5th at tops), would be rather offensive.

So I find myself back at square one.
Figuring out what courses to take all by the cruel deadline of tonight (before Orientation at least), and I am as lost as a child in the candy aisle at your local supermarket.
Auckland University offers a heck of a lot to study from, and somehow just not enough.
I guess that's where a BA gets you.
You are thrown a ton of choices and you have to pick and choose your degree, major/minor, double major, whatever it may be, you do it all yourself.
Nothing is set in stone, and everything can be changed within your first year would give you the flexibility and freedom to explore other subjects but in my opinion, it just kinda sounds like high school but in a larger building and with more people.

Maybe tomorrow will be fun; although I'm going to orientation alone, it seems, I already made a couple of friends just waiting outside the Arts Centre today.
So hopefully I'll be perky and happy tomorrow and actually get some sleep after three consecutive sleepless nights.

Cathedral Cove. This is supposedly where they shot Narnia!

I went to Coromandel with my cousins and a Japanese friend for two nights and three days.
We drove for 3 hours ish, and being at the beach for the whole time was somewhat refreshing.
What did I do at the beach?
What does one do at the beach?
 My timetable for Coromandel included the very productive things left below:

very sunburnt, and sporting Beach Hair.

Swim. Get tan. Think about useless things. Over-think things. Realize that you should stop thinking about things, and then sleep in the sand. Get sunburn. Go for another swim. Get sand in places that you never knew possible. Eat watermelon. Kayak around the ocean for three hours. Dip in the pool. Eat more watermelon.

Kayaking was surprisingly a lot of fun.
Sure, your arms feel like they're about to fall off, but the view is amazing.

One thing about New Zealand?
You have your 360degrees of just breathtaking scenery.
I had the pleasure of taking photos while kayaking, and going for a nice long swim next to a beautiful cove.

The photos on my facebook are just a few that I took on this roadtrip.
It's so beautiful; and it makes me realize that I should be grateful I live in one of the most gorgeous countries of the world.
Sure, Japan has it's beauty, and so does Malaysia, Singapore, Thailand, America.
But one thing that New Zealand has that other countries do lack is just the simplicity in nature.
I love how with just the wind in your hair, and the never-ending horizon, and the vast blue, cloudless sky, your problems would seem so small.

I also had the pleasure of returning back to a theme park in which I spent a good hour running on a human-sized hamster wheel.
Accomplishments of my summer back in New Zealand speak for itself, really.
It's harder than it looks.
I now understand and sympathize with my hamsters back when I was 7. They were really chubby and used to fall off their wheel quite a bit. :/
Sounds cute, but I used to shed tears for them out of pity. (And also because I'd laugh really hard)

A great last roadtrip before I start uni.
It's become a tradition with my cousins and I, and I don't think I'd have it any other way.
I didn't realize how much I missed them when I went to Japan, but coming back has allowed me quality time with them again before I decide that I'm bored with Auckland and want something new again.

I can't believe time has flown by so fast.
It's nearly a month since I've been back.
A whole month.

...I guess it's really goodbye Japan after all then.

I still miss you everyday, and I miss the people I once was so close to.
All the time, I think of you, and all that you've done for me.

I hope that the year I spent with you will give me more confidence for my start in university tomorrow.
I hope, and hope, and yet I have become a believer in nothing other than the worst.

All my love always,

April

hmm, amalgamation..

Google the word law, and this is what would show up on every single results page, I am not kidding.

Jude Law; in case you all haven't seen this hunk around town like I have.

Forgive my previous blog post; I had to succumb to the awful tradition of fat, single girls feeling sorry for themselves over the internet.
0 comments and counting, I see how you all love me dearly. Thank you.

I have noticed that my proficiency in my favourite language, (English) has started to slip at an alarming rate.
Not so in that my imaginary Leo would freeze to death in the time I try and read a paragraph, but very much so that he would be dead beyond hope by the time I even open a book and struggle through a sentence.

There are so many words that I didn't know existed in English.
Amongst other floozy subjects, I am taking Law in my Bachelor of Shit-I-Really-Can't-Do-Maths this year.
Just because I thought it'd be fun, I decided to grab a few textbooks off friends/brother's friends that have already attempted law and thought it was 'easy'.
Yeah, these people you gotta watch out for.
The kind that tell you that they do not study, but in reality, they would probably give up a sexy happy time with Jessica Alba or Chace Crawford themselves for an all-night cram session memorizing the different types of law property there are.
Being the budding university freshman as myself, I'd drop my panties instantly if a Hollywood star was to show up in my bedroom.

Unfortunately, I'm good at neither.

 I've noticed that my ability to spell has also dropped to the level of a 3rd grader.
It was just yesterday when I thought 'tomorrow', was spelt with two m's.
And speaking of spelling.
Is it 'spelled', or 'spelt'.
The longer you look at the word 'spelt', it just looks like an 's' has been wrongly placed in front of the word 'pelt'.
Does it not?

Reading my borrowed blue law book, I've also picked up on the many words I do not know the meaning of.
For example; amalgamation.
Amalgamation. I repeated this about ten times aloud, as if saying it would enable my brain to dissect it phonetically and somehow, therein would lie the definition.
After attempting to do this and inevitably failing, I did the sensible thing, and consulted my best friend Google.

Google then disappoints me by giving me the definition of amalgamation.

a·mal·ga·ma·tion  (ah.mawl.gah.maey.shen)

1. The act of amalgamating or the condition resulting from this act.

What?

How does changing the noun into a verb make it any more sense!

Just, someone, explain to me the logic of how that works.

How about this for a defintion.

bull・shit (bool.sheet)

1. The act of bullshitting and what lawyers would do to get your money

 Or how about this one:

A・pril Wo・ng (ay-puh-reel-woh-ung)

1. The human form of the word 'procrastination', and a prime example of ADD. 

I am also frustrated at how the first part of this book is just ...boring history.
Apologies for mixing the word boring and history together; I think History is brilliant, really.
I just don't know why I can't seem to tap into Law the way I do with European History, or Classical Studies.

"When there is not despotism there is anarchy"

In my head, despotism...IS anarchy, so.. once again, my comprehension skills in English are failing me, and I am finding myself blogging as a direct result of my lack of motivation to try and understand that quote.

I bet a lot of you will actually find logic in that quote above, and I'm just being the lazy and illogical person I've grown to become, and am reading it like "when there is not oranges, there are oranges"
...or something like that.

I'm only on page 5 of this 320page lecture book font size -2billion, and I can't believe the sheer number of times I've had to resort to re-reading the sentence in order to grasp some meaning out of it.
Lots of dates, too many random names like Sir Edward Coke, to whom I refer to as "coke whore guy", and get disapproving looks from my family when I make excuses not to read my fat blue book of bullshit.
Great start, really. Great start.

It would be ideal for me to fall madly and hopelessly in love with law though.
Because then I'd get to apply for an exchange in the year of 2013 to Kings College in London.
If I was to end up loving Law, my plans to live abroad next year would also be terminated.
So I don't know what's going to happen, but until university actually starts, and I properly begin a study plan, I don't have the power to plan for the future just yet.

There are approximately... two more weeks(or maybe less), until university starts, and a week till orientation begins.
I am really nervous.
For one, I haven't had proper human interaction in quite a while.
My friends don't count; they're all really awkward. ;)
So I've been working on how to approach people before/after lectures, so that I wouldn't end up being the social outcast in university.
I won't be living in a dorm, so I'm quite worried about making friends without that excuse of 'hey lets grab lunch in the convenient hour gap between fourth and fifth period...'

Summer is going by quite slow.
I've been hanging out with my cousins quite a bit; and showing a Japanese friend around town is quite interesting too.
Coromandel awaits us in two more days, and I still have yet to find a bikini that would somehow look flattering on a body that isn't.
The cousins and I rented out an apartment to live in for two days.
It's about a step away from the beach, and we have booked kayaking lessons and all that..
Oh, what torture.

I should also get off the computer and stop stalking random people on Facebook, and go to the gym.
It would be nice to start university because I think then will I stop being on holiday summer mode.
I've had two summers this year.
One being the fun-filled too short one in Japan, and now the slow, very boring, and quiet summer in New Zealand.
I am craving for inspiration; and can think of only a couple of ways in which I can be inspired.

In the meantime, I will continue to slave away at my law book.
Not too sure at what benefit this is going to do for me, considering the fact that I'm already seven lectures behind schedule. ;)

By the way, the definition of amalgamation is just pretty much a fancy word for a merger.
In case there are any more idiots out there whom read my blog and did not know that this word existed.
Shame on you. :P

All my love always,

April

a single girl on Valentines Day.

WARNING: This blog will resemble a fat girl alone on Valentines Day eating her chocolate in the corner of a room while she listens to emo music about how she'll never find the one. 

Oh. Wait. That is this blog. So go ahead and press the little red button at the top right hand corner of your screen to avoid any brain cell damage.

So if you're like me, and you were/are single for the Hallmark event of Valentines Day,

you would have woken up feeling like absolute shit.

Pure shit.

I woke up this morning hating everything.
And I mean, everything.
I got mad at the fact that I had too many stuffed animals, all of which I received none from any previous boyfriends.
I was not only angry, but really crazy, oh-my-god-steam-is-literally-shooting-out-of-her-ass type of rage.

"Just finished a book about why I only need me to be happy! Yay Me~!!!"

"Single girls are empowered. They do not need another person in their life to make them happy."
I was the spitting image of this today.
You should have seen me.
I was so ninja.
(last three lines were sarcasm in case you all do not possess the ability to identify really shit attempts at sarcasm on the internet.)

No but seriously, I was having a psychotic breakdown over absolutely nothing at all.
Looking back now, I can laugh and wonder what in the world got over me, but all I can say is...I really am an idiot.

Following this psychotic breakdown, I had my Special K cereal.
It's what idiots like myself do on Hallmark events.
We freak out, then we have breakfast.
I'm part of the large percentage of idiots in this world that thinks that you can lose weight in two weeks by eating cereal, oh wait, pardon me, 'specialK' cereal for 14 days in a row.
I was going to get my fat ass to the gym and exercise but my eyes settled on a box of chocolates that my mom had previously bought for me.
Needless to say I raped that box of chocolates and I wouldn't be surprised if Cadbury decides to press charges.

So after listening to really depressing love songs about how many different times your heart is literally shoved into a food processor and made into mince meat, I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself.
What then, does April Wong decide to do on Valentines Day to feel better for herself?
Perhaps go out with friends?
Do not be alone, would be the logical answer.

I decided to go to the mall.
Just like Robin Sparkles does.
I went to the mall by myself, and I really have to ask myself WHY I did such a thing.
It's like I desire pain in my life.
I was slapped in the face my red and pink love heart balloons, and couples, just freaking EVERYWHERE..
The only thing keeping me sane from lighting everyone on fire was the one thought that...

If a zombie apocalypse was to happen right there and then, all the couples  would resort to try and eat each others brain's out.
Romantic.

It's like the North Shore had vomited up couples from every street and corner, and decided that a good place to store all this love-sick junk was in Albany Mall.
Do not get me started on the even more puke-worthy giggling and cuddling and canoodling.
Bleh.

I realize I sound like a total grinch.
Truth is, I think the idea of Valentines Day is always going to be really sweet.
I didn't always cringe at all the increasing 13 year old couples dawdling around in the streets.
There was a time in my life where I had the generosity to be happy for others.

When you are in a couple, Valentines Day is usually a day in which you can be smug and look down on all the other single people out in the world such as yours truly, and just shrug mindlessly and say, "ugh, they're just jealous they don't have what we have.."

When you are all but one though, and perhaps, still pining over that one person you really want to be with but can't, everything screams out murder at you.
The magazines I bought today for 15dollars all had single girl survival guides plastered on the covers because it was the month of February.
Of course, editors at magazines find a need to make single girls nationwide feel even more shittier by publishing articles directly targeting the single losers that buy these magazines.
Survival Guides.
In what way...and..why is it called...why...*mindfuck*

We are all built around this idea that we would need someone in our lives to fulfill us.
True, humans crave affection and love; and dare I say it, I don't think any of us can live without another's affection or love.
Be it friendly love, romantic love, or the most genuine and pure form of love, familial love.
So although most girls crave tomantic love, and all will want it in one way or another, desperation does not look too good.
Do I want a boyfriend?
No.
But I hate the feeling of when I can't have that certain someone.

I had a bit of a rough start to the year.
From the end of my exchange, to the arrival gates of Auckland Airport, to the realization that I have closed a whole chapter of my life and am forced to write a new one...
It's been really tough.
Heck, I still wake up at times thinking that I'm stuck in some kind of Inception limbo.

Then came along Valentines Day and it makes you miss the ones you no longer have.

Despite all the ups and downs, (mostly downs, if not all downs) of my coming back to New Zealand, Valentines Day was very bittersweet for me.
Sure, I was probably the only pathetic single in the mall today, but it didn't bother me after a while.
It was quite nice to write letters to friends, and witness all the other people waiting in line, clearly in a LDRs frantically sending last-minute care packages to their significant others.
It reminded me that I'm lucky enough to have loved and lost.

looking hot, bothered, and exhausted after a whole day in the NZ sun

So even though I may not be in an official relationship for Valentines, I'm grateful that I have friends and family whom I love.
Not so much that I'll buy them a card in which I profess my undying love for them, but just the genuine kind of tiramisu with lots of cream kind of love ;)

All my love always,
and have a great valentines day, single or attached,

April

not a floozy, but an idiot.

I have two weeks till I become an official university student.
I have not enrolled in my courses, and I have yet to pick a third subject to study in my BA.
Choosing what to study in your first year is so challenging, because there are too many things to pick from.
So just to be clear.
You pick three subjects, and within each of those subjects, you are expected to pick two courses.
This will then add up to six courses.
Within your entire first year of university, you are expected to take eight courses.
The remaining two being electives/general education papers.
...miiiiinnnndddfffffuuucccckkkk.

I am so screwed.

It has also come to Wikipedia's attention that I am officially the new definition of 'Idiot'

I finally have this realization that maybe, just maybe, I should have studied Biology, or Economics in high school.
The lack of confidence I had in myself to pursue any Science, Math, or Finance topics in my 4 years of high school, with my even more obvious and unfortunate lack of logic, all led to the decision to study English based topics.

I am also entering university on a Discretionary Entrance.
I didn't sit for Level 3 NCEA, and am entering with my Level 2 credits attained in the year before I left for my adventure in Japan.
My results are good enough for me to enroll into university, but despite my whopping total (and quite unbelievable I might just add) of 75 Excellence credits, (the maximum being 80 credits), the university is and always have been strict about discretionary entrance candidates.
Therefore, conjoint degrees, Law, or Science degrees are not allowed.

I can study the papers for Law or Economics if I wanted to, sure, and change my degree halfway through the year if my results are top notch, but let's face it; first year of uni, back in New Zealand for less than a month...will I really adjust to the uni lifestyle in such a short amount of time?
For the time being, I don't think I have any other choice but to have no social life and bond with the bookshelves and desk of the library.
Not to mention the free wifi in the Owen Glen Building.
I'd be one of those painfully awkward kids in the corner of a massive lecture hall, scribbling furiously on a pad of refill, and answering all the questions that the lecturer asks.
Or.
I'd be the bum-out and just give up.

I'm really worried about my future.
Maybe I'm letting what others think affect me once again.
Old habits truly die hard, and despite my year in Japan, I do still take what others think and say into account.
A thought that has been circling my head for the past week.
"I've only opened up one tiny window in the attic of my career because of my decision to study Arts...
Teaching."

Quite a few of my friends (if not all) have already given me feedback that they genuinely think I'm going to end up being a teacher.
I don't look down on the profession at all; because I feel that teachers play a major role in everyone's lives.
A teacher can make or break it for you, really.
Have a crap teacher for your favorite subject at school, and you might just end up hating it.
On the opposite side of the spectrum though, I have never really considered History an interesting topic.
However, after studying History for three consecutive years at high school under the same teacher, I can honestly say that I love History.
(despite my recent lack of knowledge in the Russian Revolution)


I just never ever wanted to be a teacher.
I taught at my mom's Kumon centre for 4 years teaching little kids math and english, and needless to say tutoring little snotty kids is an experience that one does not need to have in one's lifetime.
You have to be painfully patient at all times, and answer the most ridiculous questions, and besides.
I don't really like kids at the moment.
Following scary sausage-loving host mom's even scarier daughter's frequent outbursts every night; I have developed a genuine concern about my future obligation to have children.

It breaks my heart that the one thing I never thought the BA I've chosen to do would probably most likely lead me to doing would be teaching.

Vet, doctor, musician, writer...
Those were the things I've aspired to be in the past but have always settled on being a writer because of my love for bullshitting about things that apparently matter in this world.

I want to write, and can't imagine doing anything but.
Problem being is that I've probably limited my options to writing for magazines like Cosmopolitan, or Woman's Weekly.
Heck; I'd be lucky to get a job at a magazine company like that.
Katy Perry and her recent guest starring on How I Met Your Mother, or perhaps Christina Aguilera's recent f*ck-up on the national anthem gone viral via trusty youtube would be the only things I'd write about.

Perhaps a simple job writing for tiny heralds and newspapers within the North Shore.
I think everyone would aim to write for something that would contribute to the greater cause.
Working for a magazine that perhaps would target environmental issues, health issues, or challenge the public to address their country's issues at hand would be a dream come true for me.
Writing for something that matters.

Why would any respectable magazine firm want to hire someone with a degree in English as opposed to someone that has majored in Law?
Or even commerce? Finance?
Just the reality of it all has dawned on me, and I'm gradually, actually no, that's a lie, rapidly panicking about the rest of my life.
I need to relax somehow.
Waffles, I think, are my calling.

Not exactly ideal to type out all my trivial insecurities and ramblings on what was such a happy blog site, but maybe the excitement to start my classes just hasn't kicked in quite yet.
The mere thought of never fulfilling my full potential is currently doing a very good job of squishing down any remaining positive thoughts I may have within me.

Or perhaps.

I'm completely talking out of my ass here.

Lets hope its the ass ;) , and that I'm psyching myself out for no reason other than I'm just a neurotic wreck.

All my love always,

April

a detox?

I'm eating chocolate.

I know that the first three words of this blog definitely contradict that of the actual title of this blog, but hear me out.

I'm eating chocolate, because I want to remember how delightful sin tastes like in food form.
This is definitely prior to my detox which starts tomorrow, involving me drinking salt water for breakfast and spicy lemon drinks for lunch and dinner.

Yummy.

Today is Chinese New Year's Eve, and I'm eating chocolate.
This is definitely not an Asian tradition in which one would partake on New Year's Eve, however, despite my over-eating at dinner, I still am eating chocolate.

waffle iron for my 18th, and I'll be the happiest girl alive :D

I really just want waffles, but there's chocolate, so I'm eating chocolate.

Today's the first day I feel happier since I've been back from New Zealand.
I feel happier because I forgot that good things always come after the bad.
I was reminded today of everything good and wonderful, and I cannot help but smile because for once in a very long time, I'm genuinely excited.

Following the very long and successful interview I had with the Dean of Auckland Uni, I was then offered a position at the university to blog professionally.
The Dean of Administrations was apparently quite taken with me, and after several handshakes later and meet and greets with web designers and other important people that handle these kind of things, I am now being considered for the part.

Little did I know that my blog in Japan could lead me here.
It would be, and is the foundation of what people would judge me by, and the very thought of that scares me.
True, I say things in my blog in which would definitely be harmful if not disastrous for my future career prospects, but for now, I love my blog :D

I'm embarking on a scary detox which involves salt water, and lemon water.
Not to mention the charming laxative tea that follows prior to one's bedtime.
Yummy.
It's pretty much going for a swim in the sea in the morning..with your mouth open.
For lunch, one must suck a dozen lemons with red pepper sprinkled on it for fun.

I'll probably blog throughout the detox but not publish it on here.
A lawsuit isn't exactly what I need right now.
Especially because I know for certain that the first few days of my 'purification for the new me' would be painful both physically and emotionally.
Physically because ... well, I like things in my mouth ...;)
Emotionally because I love to feel sorry for myself, and restricting myself from stuffing my face with food for 5-7days would be challenging.
I am very determined to complete this detox and see results though.
For one thing...
...the detox costs a third of an air ticket.

But.
I really like my food.
A lot.

So do wish me luck in this detox.
It's all a lie, really.
I don't think I'm going to end up like the blonde chick on this box.
Unless all the yellow in the lemon ends up bleaching my hair a scary blonde color.
Lovely.

All my love always,

April