words of wisdom

calvin and hobbes 

a poem about dandelions.

Sometimes I feel like I'm a dandelion in the wind.

So full of hope, but when I do fly- I'm left naked and thin

I parachute out into the wild, my seeds like daydreams collide 

The wide open sky awaits, and I'm left here to die.

I do not blame myself for I wanted to fly

Out into the open, to explore, just so I could try.

You were what I wanted, but I needed more.

I wasn't what you needed, and you wanted more.

Seeds and all I carry myself, as far as the wind could carry me

My dreams light and empty, you beat me down once again

No matter how far I go, I'll never reach your heart

It is too far, it is too near, its just not for me, my dear.

Too foolish to see otherwise, I sacrifice parachutes from my branch

They sail aimlessly, floating away from what was left, and what used to be. 

I realize the more I let go of the seeds, the less of me I see

But I was born not to stay still: I was born to find something more. 

Something, like you and me. 

You left my heart here, and I'm still searching for you

Parachutes fleeting, my heart beating- the end is nearly here.

Even though my branch is stripped bare of seed:

The dreams I have for you, for us: they'll somehow parachute into the wind.

Sometimes I feel like a dandelion.

Sometimes a beacon of light, other times a weed.

I hope one day that you'll find me

I hope one day, you'll learn to love me.

Sitting here in all my seedless beauty. 

stars

I was hesitant to understand it.
So reluctant to realize, but I've arrived to the conclusion that nowhere is home for me.

You have snippets, little bits and pieces from the memories and moments you've shared with significant people in your life- and that's the only time you really feel at home. 

It's never really about the location as it is about the company you are with.

It explains why I much prefer the Starbucks cafe in Shinagawa to any other cafe in Tokyo. 

Simply because the memories I've made with a very special Canadian has romanticized the place to the extent that I'm ridiculously biased towards that unfortunately dull coffee shop. 

It's easy to allow your own thoughts to consume all that's left inside of you. 

Perhaps its my ignorance, or maybe its my inability to see past my insecurities, but for a while I've been surrounding myself with negativity.

I've purposefully isolated myself away from doing the things I love, thinking that I'm undeserving to have an opinion to share with the world. 

We all have that little thing that delights us. 

That one thing that has stayed with you from the beginning, never leaving you- and it never disappoints.

I think for me, that one thing would be finding new music to listen to.
It gives you the chance to 'start again' minus all the pain it usually takes to close a chapter in your life and write a new one. New music is also unstained with potential unwanted memories for the future.
I'm unjustifiably selfish with my music because of this very reason.
To be completely honest though- it wasn't always like this.
The one thing I'm protective over I can't be.

Music isn't just a guitar, a singer, and some lyrics.

It's memories within the melody, hope intertwined with harmony, which makes it that much more difficult to forget. 

Music is what was, what is, and what will be. 

The same song can resonate different meanings at different points in your life- and regardless of how beautiful a miracle this may be; there's usually unwanted reminders associated with that one song you listened to on repeat with a broken heart.

Listening to Stars' music makes me feel lighter than I've felt in a long time.

It's funny what one song can do to bring all that joy back- when you remember the simple things that once made you smile, and once made everything worthwhile.

A bit late to discover this band- but I'm sure glad I discovered them now than later.

I hope that you'll all re-discover that one little delight that will make you remember what you love about life.

Life is too often too serious, too heavy, too much of ...everything.

But always remember:

when you're cold- maybe you just miss the sun 

All my love always,

April