in times like these

My thoughts are with all my friends and family in Japan

 In times like these, I wonder what it would have been like if I didn’t get on that plane for home.

In times like these, I marvel in silence at the timing of my departure from Tokyo, Japan.

In times like these, I am grateful for our current advancement in technology.

50 years ago, I could have only dreamed of finding out if my loved ones are alive and well in a country far away by the click of a button.

In times like these, we are forced to remain brave for our friends and family,
as we are helplessly being thrown into uncontrollable situations
that seem to escalate further into chaos.

We hope that the madness ends, and then there it is again.
Only this time, it’s a 8 times as worse,
and you feel a knot form in your throat,
the tears spilling unwillingly from underneath closed eyelids.

In times like these, remain calm. Breathe deeply. It’s okay.

Panicking isn’t going to help.

I hate those bastards. 

A tsunami wave wipes out homes and neighborhoods in Chiba

I guess the first stage of grief doesn’t tie in here all too well.
Psychologists can generalize to their hearts content however; I’m not in denial but in shock.

 In what way can I actually deny that the earth shook violently from beneath the ocean,
and has managed to rip apart my beloved Tokyo; I don’t know.

 The endless deadly statistics are keeping me awake in this hour of the night.
The media feeds us warnings down our throats every five minutes,
all the while sugar coating the catastrophe with updates and even more terrible news. 

Unfortunately I can’t bargain with an imaginary god for this all to rewind and be gone.

Families and loved ones are torn apart because of this very incident.
The roads are littered with stranded people trying to make their way home.
Not to mention the odd car or thousand floating aimlessly around flooded areas.

I also can’t be all meek and accepting of our current global crisis;
so I guess I’m stuck with stages two, and four for now.
 First Christchurch, now Tokyo. What next?

Hello Anger, meet Depression.

In times like these, I close my eyes and think about the life I’ve led up till this very day.
I give myself lengthy philosophical questions about fulfillment and the meaning of love.

I try not to waste time thinking of “what if”.

Because let’s face it; it’s already too late now, and what's done is done.

In times like these, just breathe in. Breathe out. 

My thoughts are with those in the fire-blazed shores of Tokyo, Japan.

In times like these, I put pen to paper;

last-minute letters to loved ones that I pray never meet a stamp.

Words that I would never have said,

if not a huge tidal wave eat up the very train line 

I used to commute to and from school 6 days a week a month ago.

I write words that apologize, and words that speak from deep down.

In times like these; words aren’t enough.

In times like these; it isn’t really about me. 

In times like these, you realize that instead of choosing what to eat, 

there are people out there wondering if they have food at all. 

In times like these, you fight for sleep, too guilty to give in to your body’s inability to stay awake; I’m too aware that there are millions out there, struggling for warmth tonight.

In times like these, you are helpless to all the chaos and you can’t help but wonder.

When is it going to hit me?

In times like these, I hope you tell the one you love just how much they mean to you.

And mean it.

In times like these; hope. Hope for something bigger than yourself.

Because I know it’s all I can do.  

I wrote this the night I found out about the earthquake in Japan.
I hope this will give encouragement to those whom have family or friends there; I know how worried you must all be.
From what I gather, everyone is safe and have taken refuge in their homes. 

I cannot begin to express how much it hurts to see the town I live in go up in flames all over the news, while I sit here feeling extremely useless.
My host family have not yet updated me with their current situation. 

I wanted to do something; and this is what I can do for now.

The casualties are increasing, and there is reportedly 125 billion dollars in damage.

Please donate to any charities in your respective country to help Japan restore its beautiful country back. 

All my love always Japan, I haven't forgotten about you.

Thinking of you always. 

April

first week done?

 

The one thing I love about uni is all that walking.

You get to class sweaty, panting, your fringe all plastered over your forehead.
Your bag is slipping off your shoulder, and as you try and gain your composure by 'gracefully' walking down the steps to a seat that you haven't yet picked out,
you are reassured that it's highly beneficial if not crucial that you signed up for the gym.

It's a glorious sight at what a young, innocent girl like me would do for her education.

You gotta love the climb up Albert Park Hill.
The imaginary endorphins that pump through my bloodstream as a reward for me not passing out halfway truly encourages me to walk another million steps into the university campus itself.
I swear as I was trudging up this hill on Wednesday, this disgustingly fit uni student had jogged up and down this hill a grand total of six times before I even managed to reach the top.
That did wonders for my self esteem.

Before climbing this hill, I always tell myself to take a photo upon completion.
I never seem to be able to find the energy to find my camera and take a snapshot of this monster;
I'm THAT tired.
Here's a link of some over-energetic photographer whom did us all a favor and took photos of the beautiful things in Albert Park we tend to overlook.
http://gem.win.co.nz/mb/art/albert/

Uni has been a whirlwind of fun this week.
Sure, I had a couple of breakdowns in which I daydream myself to working at a fast food chain for the rest of my pathetic life.
I also humbly admit that these breakdowns occurred on a daily morning basis in the car ride to the bus station.

Choobies are so cute. Law students should stop being so judgmental...

But all in all, I've made many new friends, and haven't yet suffered from 'sitting in the back of the lecture hall by herself' loner syndrome quite yet.
In fact, I'm that girl who's still stuck at a tweeny boppy maturity level, and is naive enough to think that her much loved Choobies background wouldn't end up being exposed to her LAW 121G class for everyone to make a mockery of.

Out of the kindness of my heart, I lend my law professor this laptop as a substitute for her own broken-down machine.
Moments later, she plugs the death cord into the side, and out pops on not one, but two huge screens for everyone to see, my Choobies wallpaper.
I tell myself it's not that bad.
At least it wasn't a picture of me naked.
That would have been awkward. ;)

So first week of uni, and I've already had an embarrassing moment.
I bet by the end of this year I'll have moments that are so humiliating that it'll pain me physically to share it online.

it's so thin; you wouldn't even know its there!

What else has been new this week?
Aside from the iPad 2 release; I can't think of much really.
I suggest you all invest in the iPad 2 before it's too late.
The battery life is exactly the same as the original ipad? That's legendary.
That's innovation, right there.
*cue applause from Apple minions all over the world*

Thanks for being so considerate and installing not only one, but TWO cameras this time!
I think Apple might have forgotten to install one of them in the original iPad during production.
It's okay. We understand that you just wanna lure people into your evil scheme.

My classes have been interesting; not in any of my lectures do I sit there tempted to drift off to sleep the way I did in Japan.
My favourite classes so far are History and Law.

Law is a warzone in my 2-3PM stream.
Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, I cannot wait to get to my law class because the debates that take place are sometimes so unnecessary and trivial, I am very pleased to say I'm happy I do not participate whatsoever.

There are also those debates however, that stir me to join in; but I don't.
Not because I'm scared to speak in front of 300 people that want to see me fail Law miserably so that they can eliminate me as competition.
Of course not.
I'm scared of nothing..

Law 121G Law & Society

It's true that if you read ahead of class, you'll learn much more.
But I also question if you actually learn anything...new.
It seems that the Law course book provided has so much information jammed packed in it, not attending a Law lecture wouldn't really put you at a disadvantage to others.

The cut back for law is nothing other than heartless.
Come the end of Semester One, if you do not get an average of C+, you'll be kicked out.
(of course our lecturers inform us that the bare minimum is C+, but of course they're looking out for that A)
Come the end of Semester Two, all law students are reduced down to only 200 students.
Not only is Law lonely; it's brutal.
I'm not too sure if I'll get into Law by Semester Two; but I'm hoping I stick it out and make the first cut.
This year, there are 2000+ students studying Law Part One.
I need some kind of miracle. 

History106: Europe Transformed

The lectures for History are quiet; no one talks, because people that take History tend to be rather socially awkward (yours truly).
We like to dwell in the past. It's where we're happy.
Plus; studying history for me allows me to appreciate my present so much more.

Philosophy 105 Critical Thinking

So the question that burns in my head is this:
How does one tell a proposition from another?
Philosophy is truly a subject that has no right answer.
It's a bit annoying knowing that my first lecture of this class, and I'm already wondering if I truly understood everything he said.
Do I even understand everything the book says?
Apparently this is an easy class.
Does this mean I'm incapable of doing even the easiest of papers at a tertiary level?
...probably.

English 121 Reading/Writing/Text

I'm more than delighted to hear that in this course we also have to blog for part of our assessment.
I have a ton of terrible blog entries in my archive;
there's bound to be one that's not as terrible as the other.
This course so far seems pretty manageable.
Too bad the colossal size of my class puts me at a disadvantage when trying to make new friends.

My tutorials haven't started, and already I'm feeling rather exhausted from walking around campus and sitting in classes.
What the hell happened?
I think all my energy is channeled in a wrong direction.
I should stop making scenes in the student commons area and actually try and study.

I wonder how kids live in dorms.
How does one get ANY study done?
I already struggle getting study done when I'm on campus already; imagine trying to get study done when you're on campus 24/7?...
Humans are so distracting.
The sacrifice miiiight be worth it depending on what you want out of university.
Living in a dorm is a huge advantage in terms of opportunities.
Consider the people you'll meet, and the parties you'll be exclusively attending!

The Rec Centre in Uni! Doesn't look impressive on the outside,
but this baby is three levels underground of climbing walls, weight training centres,
cardio centres, swimming pool... yeah. ;)
Obvs you will be able to find me on the climbing wall 7AM in the morning.

Joining the gym has been my only good decision this week.
I've only been once, but the experience was memorable.
Never has my pride been at such stake; I actually feel compelled to not slow down, because of all the fitness junkies I'm surrounded by.

Everyone's running, cycling, pedaling, rowing, like they're preparing for a zombie apocalypse.
I have only the obligation to also, prepare for the zombie apocalypse/Albert Park Hill,
and after 20 minutes of cycling, I had cycled a total of 15KM.
I'm still unsure if I should be impressed with those results, but I was so tired that I couldn't even muster the energy to cool down
My stationary bike was quite mad at me for that. Red font and everything.  
"MUST COOL DOWN"

Hopefully by next week, I can establish a routine in which I go to the gym and workout, attend classes, study, and mingle with friends before heading home to social network.
What else does one do when they're home anyway.
Study? Maybe. But there's also the option of Facebook. ;)

University is challenging.
I wouldn't say the classes are of such a simple level that I am breezing through them eyes closed.
I'm glad it's challenging me in ways that a classroom in Japan never could.
I'm also grateful that I chose the subjects I'm doing now because it would seem that I have it easier than most of the BioMed students in AU.

So here's to a great semester.

All my love always,

April